Today is Madi's 2 month birthday. So, to celebrate, I take her to the doctor and she has to get shots. I am so mean!! But she did really well. She cried a little and she has been a little fussy but she has been sleeping it off most of the afternoon. She is 9 lbs. 5 oz. and 21 in. long. She is only in the 10th and 5th percentile for weight and height. The nurse said she is going to be a dainty little girl. Never imagined anyone would say that about a child of mine! HaHa. But she is healthy and the doctor said she is growing just fine.

Not a lot going on around our house. It was so hot last week, 105+ everyday, that we didn't do anything or go anywhere. We had a nice break in the temps on Friday and Saturday and was able to get some things done.

Here are my thoughts this week. Sunday night I was up late with Madi and this is always when I have my deep thoughts and plan out the next day. You know, sitting in the dark at 1:00 in the morning while feeding my daughter, typical time to start thinking. It doesn't really help the getting back to sleep part though. But here it is. There is a commercial on tv for a new show, don't know what it is. But this woman says, "True love is when you hug someone and you still don't feel like you can get close enough to them." I have had this feeling so much in the last 2 months and then I hear this woman describe it perfectly. This is especially true after I have spent some time away from Madi, nap time, in the morning, etc. I pick her up and hug her and she snuggles into my shoulder and I love her so much, I feel like I need to squeeze her harder. But she can't get any closer to me. I never thought I could love someone more than I already love my husband and my parents. And then I have this precious baby and I feel even more love than I ever have. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband. But it feels like a different love for Madi. She is all mine and I don't have to share her with anyone if I don't want to. And then I think, is it because we tried to have a baby for so long and got past the heartache of losing other babies and finally have this miracle with us. Do I love her more because we truly wanted a child at this moment in our lives and she wasn't a surprise or a mistake or someone to get used to being around? Has anyone else felt this or am I spending too much time alone?

My second realization is that I have so much patience with her that I never knew I had. I never dreamed that I would be able to take care of a baby, a house, get supper ready, clean and then still want to spend every second I have giving her my undivided attention. All this after only getting 4 hours of sleep the night before and not feeling well myself. (Which is what has been going on for the last week. I have an ear infection and I finally broke down and went to the doctor yesterday.) Anyways. I have amazed myself and I feel really good about myself and the job I have done so far. I just hope I have given enough attention to everybody else around me (Chris) and haven't hurt any feelings.

Love, Amy