Ugh!

"My girlfriend is late for our annual intimate encounter. By this time of the year, she usually has begun to send me sweet harbingers of our end-of-summer fling that make me tear up, but so far, nothing. Shes probably waiting to surprise me on my birthday, which is coming up in a few weeks. Shes done that before, so I'm not worried. We've had a relationship for years, so I know this is just her playful way of messing with my head -- in particular, my sinuses. When I was younger, I would awake on my birthday to find that she'd finally arrived. I couldn't see her diaphanous beauty because my eyelids would be mattered shut; however, I knew Id gotten a whiff of her intoxicating pollen because my nasal passages would be so swollen they could stop a speeding bullet. She has that effect on me. Always has, always will.

She disgusts my wife, as any mistress would, especially one who moves in. Her name is Hay Fever (unmodified for this family newspaper), and she generally shows up about this time with enough luggage for a two-month stay . I should mention that she stops by briefly in the spring and early summer but remains uncharacteristically aloof. A few sneezes and a mildly runny nose is all she has time for. But, as summer wanes, her desires peak and all she can think about is finding ways to drive me crazy. (That's how I know Hay Fever is a woman.)

"Why don't you take something?" my wife implores. I have an aversion to pills of any kind, firmly believing that the forbidden fruit of Eden was not an apple but a time-release gel cap. Hay Fever learned this long ago and uses it to her advantage. She knows she can have her way with me for many weeks before her charms become too intense and I'm driven, snorting, sneezing and wheezing, to the medicine chest, sin or no sin. I am no match for Hay Fever, but neither is she for a hard freeze. It must be freeze. A frost wont do. She laughs at a frost and then comes after me in unquenchable fury, as if I had something to do with the weather. The best birthday gift imaginable would be a temperature reading in the single digits, but with the Earth heating up, no longer is there a place in the Northern Hemisphere that chills that low so early in September. Eventually winter arrives, and Hay Fever departs. I stand in the doorway, eyes residually crimson, sniffling the last of her, not unhappy at all to see her go."

Artical written by Gordon Fiedler of the Salina Journal on 8-24-08.

I read this article a couple of weeks ago and laughed because I knew exactly what he was talking about. I had just gotten my visit from Miss Hay Fever myself. It wasn't too bad yet, it would go away in a couple of days. But she is still here. I was laying in bed last night, not able to sleep or breath, with water running down my face from my leaking eyeballs, and this article popped into my head.

I love this time of year. The weather cools down and we get a huge break on the electric bills because I can open the windows. But on the other hand, I am so miserable with allergies because the windows are open. And not just allergies but my asthma then starts giving me fits. It's a vicious cycle. I was able to handle the runny nose and itchy watery eyes during the day for awhile. I would only take my little pink pill of heaven (Benadryl) at night so I could actually lay down and breath and get some sleep. But I can no longer go without medicine. My new best friend is my Claritin. Like Mr. Fiedler, I am longing for that first freeze now!!